census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
nah i think i'm gonna take my landlord's kids trick-or-treating instead. apparently the houses around here hand out wine to the adults and candy to the kids.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
