just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
my dad has now seen 6 different dudes grab my ass. i guess i should start a list.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
I just dumped the bloody coke bill into the tip jar while getting my hangover coffee. I'm literally going to hell.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
