i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
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I'm a little upset you wasted 3 beers on your wet tee shirt contest.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
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