Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
she said we were using the spray butter as air freshener
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
