I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
just texted my dealer that i could taste the blue but not the cheese. i said i could taste blue.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
