the best part about being a teacher is there are always 20 little kids around me to blame my farts on
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Alive.
So much puke
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
Randomize
