my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I wish they had a home preganacy test, but for STDs
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
Randomize
