You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
i just had to hear from a third party that he came inside of me
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
Woke up this morning to a bunch of snapchats of you drunkenly yelling at grasshoppers. Good night?
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Randomize
