Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I am passing the whore torch on to you my friend. Do me proud
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
Randomize
