Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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