I just hope my dad was drunk enough to not remember the whole convo we had about anal.
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Pro tip: When you spend the afternoon banging your boss, don’t meet your mother-in-law for dinner if you still smell like cum and watermelon flavored lube
Randomize
