as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
Why is there blood and lettuce everywhere?
No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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