I'm not looking forward to the waking up early part. Or actually the wedding part. Or the reception part. But I am looking forward to the meaningless sex with some random guy I meet at the reception part.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
We really need to check into harvesting part of our liver now
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
Randomize
