just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i just stumbled downstairs, still drunk, to hug my dad and wish him a happy fathers day
but fathers day is next sunday
i realized that after i threw up on his bare feet
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize