my tampon string is in my asshole... do you think i can get it out without anyone noticing?
i'd get off the bar first.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept screaming "Its taco night!" before every shot
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
Bro, she said my penis was the best thing to happen to her mouth since teeth.
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize