Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
His favorite positions involve choking me out. I'm marrying him.
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
