Kareoke will never be a sober sport
I CAN MOONWALK!
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Randomize
