Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
Remember when I was real fucked up and said I would give up utensils and only use chopsticks for lent?...just got the reminder on my phone.
Randomize
