he just had his sister send me a message about how he's not a creeper
Was his mother too busy breastfeeding him to do it?
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
I need a horse. I don't think you can get a DUI on a living creature.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its that time of year where we just drink more instead of dressing warmer
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
they superglued a cigarette to my fingers...i think I need to quit smoking.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
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