and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
He sent me a vid of himself jerking off. I hope his hands are the size of tennis rackets or it will be a very short date.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
Randomize
