I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
When I went to court, my judge's name was Honorable Ball. I couldn't stop laughing.
that probably didn't help your case.
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
You're just gonna have to make the sacrifice man.
I'm trying to hide in the table.
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I think I'm leaving the streamers and balloons up from 4th of july till after he stops by. It'll be like the universe is celebrating his massive dick.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
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