All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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