I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I know her cup size but not her name....
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
