you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
Currently standing on top of my parents leather couch with no pants on playing helicoptor with my penis. You?
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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