The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
She greeted me with a new giants jersey and an opening day blowjob. this is true love.
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
I just found a plastic cup with panties inside of it. Let's play CSI.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
