so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
Randomize
