I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
watching jon and kate + 8 right now is like watching my parents split up
We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
Like people our age are getting engaged, and I’m out here spooning with a giant unicorn I bought at Walmart on Black Friday.
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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