Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
it's only monday and im already failing all my classes. i give up. tequila tuesday is my only friend.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
