Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
That guy was drunk and couldn't get it up so he just tried to scissor me.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I wanted to have a threesome but they’re TOO HETERO
Randomize
