Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
After we finished he asked if I knew if it was a boy or girl. Diet. Starts. Now.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
Good thing I left work early to shave my balls because traffic sucked ass, which I was written up for and my reason on the write was "to close on time, have to shave balls for date tonight". Oh yea, that was a bold statement right there
I wish on days I started my period Chipotle would come to my house with a burrito bar ... Then give me a chocolate cake and a large beer.
i am laugh crying so hard the guy next door stopped playing guitar
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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