Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
The shitshow that was last night is the gift that just keeps on giving
OH GOD IT TASTES LIKE IT SMELLS
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