I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
I hope your face alive. Lemme know if you are breathing in the morning. If not. Whoever is reading this tell me when the funeral for this awesome mother fucker is and we will rage at that event. Kthanksbye
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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