dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
guess who just got paired up at the beer pong table with the fat girl who's nipples are hanging out...
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Randomize