remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
