I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He introduced me to his parents as the girl he made out with on Thursday night...
I need a Jamo leash. Just tie it to my wrist and every time you see me reaching for a shot of it, just yank my hand away
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Randomize
