she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
There is an unwrapped tampon, a condom, a rubber chicken and a slim Jim currently sitting on our dining room table.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
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