its not stalking. its research.
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
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