just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Seriously. If I'd known all it took was a 29 year old UPS guy to make me feel THIS SEXY, I'd have been fucking them for 30 years.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
