Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Apparently I told his new girlfriend to stop swallowing because she's getting fat. Oh, and I yelled this across a large room
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
I told my mom that I might be hungover today so she needs to make me an omelet.. it happened and I'm happy
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
