Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
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