Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Its perfect, I supply the pot she makes the brownies. I love the culinary dept.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I slept with my wedding DJ..... I think this means my life has come full circle
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
we're so committed to being not committed
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize