aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
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You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
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you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
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