eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
