just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
We are gonna play a game I like to call what the fuck is in my pocket
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
