My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Somehow me showing up to/breaking into her house only to find I was a week early for the party became a night of weed cookies and sex.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
Randomize