It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Sexting just isn't as much fun once you learn how bad he is in bed...
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
Randomize
