I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
She gives me Chlamydia and somehow I'm still the asshole
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
Randomize
