Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I'm home and safer than post-menopausal sex; you're welcome for the image. And yes, I did just use a semi-colon hammered.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
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