so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
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I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
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Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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