all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
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