I got chris browned last night
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
That's the girl I met who was peeing on the driveway with me. We bonded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
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