my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Randomize
