Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
He's so far in the closet he's in Narnia
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
So even though we broke up apparently according to my voice mail you still like me, with smurfs while riding on a boat.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
