I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
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I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
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She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Damn it. Can't order pizza. Can't do the hot tub. No one to invite over for loud, kinky sex. What's the point of being here alone?!
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