So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
You kicked my dad IN THE NUTS right when he walked in.
Sorry, man. Thought he was a cop.
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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