You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Apparently after I threw up I put my socks in the toilet......
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
I told my fuck buddy that I wanted one of his arms to take home with me to hold onto in bed and he was hurt that I didn't want to bring him, like as a person, home to my family. I feel like you and only you could appreciate this.
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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